All you gotta do is whip it around and you'll figure out how it works.

"He's just taking it dirty..." Jamie about Pitts?

A man who can promise forever is an idiot. A woman who believes that man - an even bigger idiot.

"Excuse me, daddy. Can you interminate my gloves?"

Brad: There's a Cosmo article saying that women are hanging out in Apple stores trying to pick up young hip nerdy guys...
Cheri: *slaps forehead* I rue the man who picks himself up a fine young lady in a sweet gadget store who only pretends she knows what DIMM is.
Brad: Dimm is the switch on the wall you use to turn the light off because she is tooo ugly...

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, and it all started with a banana...

Hey, go find me some wood so I can knock on it.

"What will we do with the dead bodies? Oh...we'll just pile them up behind the building and blow them."

The stripper is ejected after you release the load.

"DUDE, those Star Trek episodes took up all my gigs!"